it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
