I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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