The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize