yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
