Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
