At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
