I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
