I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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