; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
