i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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