i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
