TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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