Only a mothe r could love this liver
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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