he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize