So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
