i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
