my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
