Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
