too bad you live with your parents still
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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