They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
