I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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