Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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