This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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