the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
