someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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