dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Someone came in the potted fern
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
