Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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