I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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