whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
