Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
