Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
