are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
