i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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