Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
