im having a threesome with these popsicles
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
