the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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