I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
