Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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