i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
