he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the condom got lost in my hair
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
