This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
