The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
