dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
