Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
