Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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