Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize