I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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