good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
