After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
