Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
