drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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