I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
